Child’s adaptation

Every change in life is associated with both curiosity and uncertainty, and regardless of age, because both children and adults feel it more or less.

Despite the fact that a child adapts much faster than an adult, it will always come as a shock to encounter a new situation. Starting the adventure with a kindergarten or a nursery is a huge change, during which for the first time a child is not with his/her beloved parents or guardians, with familiar rooms, toys or the schedule of the day. The child enters a new environment, full of unknown people, toys and equipment. This makes him or her both curious and astonished, as well as fearful and undoubtedly it is a difficult experience.

Suddenly, everything that was familiar is replaced by a strange and unknown reality. It is worth remembering that for a child, however, it is something completely new, and if we were to put ourselves in its place we would probably also feel insecure. The child’s emotions and fears should be understood.

Although the parent wants the child to adapt quickly to the new realities, it turns out that the problem may lie in him. The child, observing the emotions that a parent may face during a longer separation, gets a clear signal that this is a cause for being concerned.

Once a decision is taken, it should be implemented consistently.

Parents must be convinced that going to kindergarten is the best decision for both them and the child. They cannot, in the presence of their child, analyze, consider and discuss which kindergarten is good and which is bad. If we want the child to accept our decision we absolutely cannot show him/her our hesitation and our doubts.

Parents shouldn’t ask a three-year-old or even four-year-old child: Do you want to go to kindergarten? Do you want to play with children in kindergarten? And what will they do when a child says he doesn’t want to.

Such and similar questions shouldn’t be asked to young children. After all, it’s not them, but us adults who decide everything that’s good for them. Surely the child has to be familiar with the idea of going to kindergarten, to children and parents should patiently explain: Mom goes to work. Daddy goes to work too. My sister goes to school and my brother goes to a nursery.

During this difficult time for the child, parents should avoid coming to the facility at the last minute and rushing — this usually creates a nervous atmosphere. A few moments with your child in the cloakroom, then a tender but firm goodbye is extremely important. It is worth informing your child clearly when he or she will be picked up from the nursery.

Do not transfer your emotions to the child. It needs interest and more time than ever before. In this way, the child will be able to react to the new situation at home, with loving parents, in a familiar environment.

When parents return home, they should make sure that the child is in the spotlight as far as possible. Accumulated emotions can relax in the most favourite game, but do not provide additional, stimulating attractions. The child needs lots of friendly attention and presence. We advise you to plan the rest of the day in such a way that the time spent together is pleasant for both parents and children.

Experience allows us to conclude that some of the parent’s behaviour, although intuitive and goodwill, can disrupt the adaptation process.

Below we present the most common mistakes that we encounter during the adaptation of children in KIDS&Co:

• Don’t cry. Never let yourself be weak. In the eyes of a child you create a tragedy — something really bad is happening.
• Don’t disappear without saying goodbye. Your child might get the impression that you’ve abandoned him!
• Don’t give in when your child cries. If you change your mind and say, “Okay, you have a worse day today, we’re going back.” — then your child won’t take it as an exception. He or she will rather understand that there is another option, so it’s worth crying, even for a very long time.
• Don’t look in the room after saying goodbye. You’ll only make it harder for the child to start the day. It may even be that the goodbye has been quite a peaceful thing, but with your little gesture the child will suddenly start to cry (please don’t look through the windows).