Learning to share

Sharing is not the easiest task within the social development of young children. Sometimes they find sharing extremely difficult and tend to make strong attachments to items.

Already at the age of one and a half toddlers understand the concept of ownership, but not all toddlers want to accept that something is someone else’s. When children play together with their peers they can resist to allow other toddlers to play with their toys. They will squabble or push other little ones, but they would more happily take something that someone else is playing with. How do we learn this key social skill to share with others? Sharing toys – Interacting with other children is paramount in learning to share. Despite the child’s many protests, it is very important to explain that we cannot take other people’s property without asking them first.  Young children often do not understand that concept, they expect they must have everything immediately, for example, tantrums in the shops. You cannot take other people’s things without asking, you have to ask first, but you cannot force the toddler to share or give away his toys to other children. For instance when we see that a toddler is eyeing a toy car from a sandpit, it’s a great opportunity to teach them to swap the toy with a  friend. It is also worth taking an additional set of toys to the playground, which may be damaged, and the child will not be as attached to these toys so won’t be as resistant to share as these toys will not hold the same value to them. By the age of four children begin to start being more cooperative so, it becomes a lot easier to start teaching the concept of sharing and making them aware of how playing together can be more fun. It is also key to praise the child for sharing and positively reinforce that sharing is good through comments like “ it is amazing to see that you are sharing.”

How to teach children to share with others?

There isn’t a single method on how to make our child share with others in a single day. Learning to share is a long process that requires patience, effort, and parental involvement. The child needs to accumulate things and define them as “mine” because this is how they define themselves. For this reason, it is difficult for a child to share their things because sharing means giving up “a piece of yourself”. What tips should be kept in mind when teaching toddlers to share with others? Provide opportunities and situations in which they will have to share their things; encourage the toddler to cooperate with other children, but do not force them to do so when the toddler prefers to play alone; gradually teach autonomy and individuality, emphasizing what is “yours” and what is “mine”; teach your child to say, “Please” and “Thank you”; give your child an opportunity to choose which toys he wants to share and which are too important to be borrowed by someone else; praise the child when they take the initiative to share their belongings and gives their toys to other children without any prompts; it’s important to never push older siblings to give up toys to younger ones – older children also have the right to choose which items they want to give to their younger sister or brother; teach your child to wait for their turn – despite many protests, screams, tears and tantrums.