The kids of the ambitious parents

How to help our children to grow joyfully? How to encourage them to explore the world, to discover their unique talents and at the same time how to teach them to cope with defeat and criticism? How to make our children willingly take part in the activities that reinforce their interests, but not push them to fulfill parental ambitions and plans?

Simply let’s follow the child’s need, not the vision of the “baby genius”. Let our child be creative and happy on his own childish way. Let’s give him a chance to develop his own motivation. A child is a small but unique person. Therefore, he should fulfill his own ambitions, not the ambitions of his parents. Our role as the parent is to discreetly control the child’s activity, to teach him regularity and consistency in action. But not at any price.

Most often mistakes made by ambitious parents:

1. Comparing your child to other children. Not everyone needs to be an acrobat, data scientist, musician or polyglot or an outstanding tennis player. Everyone will be outstanding if only finds his strengths. Some people find it when they are six, some are 20 or more.
2. Pushing kids to succeed and be better than others. In pre-school education, every child stands out from the rest in a different way, with the unique talents. Rarely is that always the same child is the brightest star in the group. Ambitious parents strive to make their child win every time. If they not get what they demand they express their disappointment. Such parental reactions make child feel unworthy and lead to lower self-esteem.
3. Trying to impress others using your own child.  Forcing a child to show off his skills in front of your friends causes a lot of stress. “What if I can not make it?”, “What if my mom and dad won’t like it?” Let’s think for a while how it would make us feel if someone would put us into spotlight and want us to prove our talents. How much stress it costs when we approach the exam (even perfectly prepared) and wait for the assessment?
4. Worrying to much. The value of our child is not determined by certificates, diplomas and grades. Nor are they proof of how good parents we are.

Although it is not easy, let’s try to follow the principle of the golden mean. Try not to overwhelm your child with the requirements but praise him for even the smallest success and thus develop his healthy self-acceptance.

Dear Parents, stay close to your children, spend time together, playing and relaxing. You will provide them with a sense of security and build a positive bond for the future.