Let me be independent

When the speech develops around the second year of the child’s life, the word “myself” — awaited by the whole family — appears with it. This is followed by a whole set of behaviours. The child tries to perform various activities independently: use the toilet, help with cleaning or cooking, dress and undress. Allowing a child this independence is extremely important for his or her further development. However, it requires a lot of patience and consistency from the parents.

Independence is nothing other than the ability to make decisions, the sense of self-reliance and of duty, a giant leap towards self-confidence from an early age. Let us give children their own space, the possibility of making mistakes and dealing with them. Independence is not throwing a child into deep water, neither it is a sign of our lack of love. It is our consent for fulfilling an important social role, for individuality, for a sense of agency.

Imagine how we would feel if there were one or two people in our workplace who would constantly relieve us in our duties or correct us at every step — simply because they are better at it. I would be angry. After all, everyone has the right to make mistakes because, as the proverb goes, we learn on them. Let us be nearby, if the child needs our help, but let us not relieve it of its duties, admonish, lecture or correct. Let us praise every success.

So dear parents, grandparents, guardians — allow the children to be independent. It will always last longer! To avoid the stress associated with inadvertent lateness, get up earlier in the morning or plan to go to work a few minutes earlier. Our schedule depends on us — adults. Good planning is half the battle. Seeing the child putting on their shoes or a jacket in a kindergarten dressing room, making the bed, making us the first sandwich, dusting off or sweeping the floor will make it worthwhile.

If we do not allow the child to be independent today, we cannot expect him or her to suddenly start performing his or her duties at the age of 10 only because he or she is already tall and should do so.

Anna Kowalska